Of all God's creatures there is only one
that cannot be made the slave of the lash.
That one is the cat. If man could be
crossed with a cat it would improve man,
but it would deteriorate the cat.
Mark Twain (1835-1910)
There is no snooze button on a cat who
Thousands of years ago, cats were
worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this.
Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get
eight cats to pull a sled through snow.
- Jeff Valdez
In a cat's eye, all things belong to
- English proverb
As every cat owner knows, nobody owns a
- Ellen Perry Berkeley
One cat just leads to another.
- Ernest Hemingway
Cats are rather delicate creatures and
they are subject to a good many ailments, but I never heard of one
who suffered from insomnia.
- Joseph Wood Krutch
I have studied human philosophers and
many cats. The wisdom of cats is infinitely superior.
- Hippolyte Taine
There are two means of refuge from the
miseries of life: music and cats.
- Albert Schweitzer
The cat has too much spirit to have no
- Ernest Menaul
Dogs believe they are human. Cats believe
they are God.
Time spent with cats is never
You will always be lucky if you know how
to make friends with strange cats.
- Colonial American proverb
Cats seem to go on the principle that it
never does any harm to ask for what you want
SUNDAY SCHOOL LESSON FOR CATS -
THE "KITTY KOMMANDMENTS":
**Thou shalt not jump onto the keyboard
when thy human is on the internet.
**Thou shalt not pull the phone cord out
of the back of the modem.
**Thou shalt not unroll all of the toilet
paper off the roll.
**Thou shalt not sit in front of the
television or monitor as thou are not transparent.
**Thou shalt not projectile vomit from
the top of the refrigerator.
**Thou shalt not walk in on a dinner
party and commence licking thy butt.
**Thou shalt not lie down with thy butt
in thy human's face.
**Thou shalt not leap from great heights
onto thy human's genital region.
**Fast as thou are, thou cannot run
through closed doors.
**Thou shalt not reset thy human's alarm
clock by walking on it.
**Thou shalt not climb on the garbage can
with the hinged lid, as thou wilt fall in and trap
**Thou shalt not jump onto the toilet
seat just as thy human is sitting down.
**Thou shalt not jump onto thy sleeping
human's bladder at 4 AM.
**Thou shalt realize that the house is
not a prison from which to escape at any opportunity.
**Thou shalt not trip thy humans even if
they are walking too slowly.
**Thou shalt not push open the bathroom
door when there are guests in thy house.
**Thou shalt remember that thou are a
carnivore and that house plants are not meat.
**Thou shalt show remorse when being