Seki Cattery

Cat Statements

Of all God's creatures there is only one that cannot be made the slave of the lash.

That one is the cat. If man could be crossed with a cat it would improve man,

but it would deteriorate the cat.

Mark Twain (1835-1910)

 

There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast

- Unknown

 

Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this.

- Anonymous

 

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow.

- Jeff Valdez

 

In a cat's eye, all things belong to cats.

- English proverb

 

As every cat owner knows, nobody owns a cat.

- Ellen Perry Berkeley

 

One cat just leads to another.

- Ernest Hemingway

 

Cats are rather delicate creatures and they are subject to a good many ailments, but I never heard of one who suffered from insomnia.

- Joseph Wood Krutch

 

I have studied human philosophers and many cats. The wisdom of cats is infinitely superior.

- Hippolyte Taine

 

There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life: music and cats.

- Albert Schweitzer

 

 

The cat has too much spirit to have no heart.

- Ernest Menaul

 

Dogs believe they are human. Cats believe they are God.

- Unknown

 

Time spent with cats is never wasted.

- Colette

 

You will always be lucky if you know how to make friends with strange cats.

- Colonial American proverb

 

Cats seem to go on the principle that it never does any harm to ask for what you want

- Anon

 

SUNDAY SCHOOL LESSON FOR CATS - THE "KITTY KOMMANDMENTS":

 

**Thou shalt not jump onto the keyboard when thy human is on the internet.

**Thou shalt not pull the phone cord out of the back of the modem.

**Thou shalt not unroll all of the toilet paper off the roll.

**Thou shalt not sit in front of the television or monitor as thou are not transparent.

**Thou shalt not projectile vomit from the top of the refrigerator.

**Thou shalt not walk in on a dinner party and commence licking thy butt.

**Thou shalt not lie down with thy butt in thy human's face.

**Thou shalt not leap from great heights onto thy human's genital region.

**Fast as thou are, thou cannot run through closed doors.

**Thou shalt not reset thy human's alarm clock by walking on it.

**Thou shalt not climb on the garbage can with the hinged lid, as thou wilt fall in and trap thyself.

**Thou shalt not jump onto the toilet seat just as thy human is sitting down.

**Thou shalt not jump onto thy sleeping human's bladder at 4 AM.

**Thou shalt realize that the house is not a prison from which to escape at any opportunity.

**Thou shalt not trip thy humans even if they are walking too slowly.

**Thou shalt not push open the bathroom door when there are guests in thy house.

**Thou shalt remember that thou are a carnivore and that house plants are not meat.

**Thou shalt show remorse when being scolded.

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